Sushi is Shimple

The title is misspelled on purpose. Don't comment on that. It is literary alliteration or something. Read a book. As for me, I have read many books, filled with words and pictures. Sushi didn't require me to read a book though. As it turns out, I am somewhat of a natural when it comes to rolling sweet mini delicious bombs. I did have some help from half a dozen Japanese women, but really...it was all me? 

 Naturally, I started as all sushi chefs start. Watching YouTube videos. Turns out this is an ancient practice dating all the way back to the 1600s. 

 Clearly the videos were engaging and informative

 Do you see the level of attentiveness I have there? Like a bird of prey. A bald eagle.

 ...come to think of it, pictures of people watching things aren't that interesting. 

 Do you see that? My sleeves are rolled halfway up. That is how you know I mean business. You can see that some peoples hands and faces are blurred by their motion. Sushi making requires a steady hand and a calm spirit. I have both of those things. In this picture, I am spreading the rice perfectly evenly on the piece of seaweed...it is arguably the most crucial step in sushi making. 

 Notice the blurs? She doesn't appear to have the steady hand...

 That right there is not a comically large cigar, that is picture proof of the first sushi ever rolled by "The Great One" (I didn't choose the nickname, it was prophesied). There is talk of entering this picture into the Japanese Hall of Monuments (a place I just made up). 

 I was totally done first. We were making California Rolls. avocado, mayonnaise, imitation crab (nothing but the best...imitations), and egg omelet patty thing. 

Boom! Finished product. I must say that the really good ones are not my handiwork. The ones with flowers and shapes and grapes were definitely done by my version of sushi Mr. Miyagi. Amazing stuff really. Those two big and hastily put together plates are the handiwork of myself and Christina. 

I took this one with my camera. I know what you are thinking...photography skillz (yes, with a z) too? He has the triple threat! Sushi, photography and yodeling abilities. *

*Yodeling abilities are currently in a state listed as being untested, under no circumstances should you ask that I yodel for you. 

Cleanup Post...Apocalypse

Call me the king of broken promises, but I am now fulfilling some things that I said I wouldn't do. I had said that I would give some pictures and stuff. Here they are, and then some. 

 First up is this adorable little bag that I got at the Distribution Center under the Tokyo Temple. Who doesn't love puppies and engrish? 

 This is the holy love seat. Beautiful isn't it? I don't remember if I put up a picture of this yet. Even if I did, it deserves another post. This thing was 25 dollars. Genuine leather (or it would seem). It is starting to crack a little, which is unfortunate...but other than that little fact, this loveseat is probably my best friend here. 

 Bento Box that we got during sports day. I still have no idea what more than half of this stuff is. Some of it was good, the rest was digestible.

 Doth thine eyes deceive? Be that white people in the distance? Yea, it is. A week or so ago, I was out wandering around and happened on the golf course a few miles from my house. What I found was the Pata Gorufu Kosu, or Putter Golf Course. I happened upon a few people from North Carolina. They were very nice and we played 18 holes of the poorest cared for grass I have ever seen. No only does it contain 90% crab grass, it also has lots of patches of dirt that make it incredibly difficult. 

 I was actually pretty decent at it, and I ended up shooting par.

Mmmm....sweet sweet joy. You may think it stupid, but this here is phenomenal. 8 glorious pounds of peanut butter, and 2 pounds of extra sharp cheddar. Tastes like mana from heaven. American food from Costco.

 We went to a junk store closer to home. I found this charming little fellow peering at me as I rummaged through all the stuff this guy had to sell. 

 I seriously considered buying this little beauty. I figured that I would wear it all day everyday as a way to let the Japanese know that I value their culture...also, it would let them know that I am a formidable soldier who can cut them in half. 

A rodeo chair...which is weird...but I guess the Japanese love their rodeo. After all, it;s the bulls and blood, it;s the dust and mud...

I was going to get a whole post entitled, "The terrifying things I find." This is a teaser for you. Frightening right? I can't imagine why this is second-hand...