Well. I am back. The internet got sorted out a day or two early. So I should be reliably posting again, even though my life is less interesting now. To catch you up since the last time I wrote, I have started actually working and teaching. I just finished my first day in the elementary school and it was actually quite good. I am what some would call a "worrier." Others might call it a sometimes-hyper-anxious-and-prone-to-panic person. I am both of these. Like most people, I worry about things that have not yet come to pass and they cause me (sometimes severe) distress.
I cant put it any other way than to say that I was literally terrified of teaching here in Japan. I have been plagued with thoughts of "What will I do when the teacher doesn't speak English?" "How do I go about teaching Japanese kids?" "How do I team teach with someone when we can't speak to each other?" "How do I go about getting along with my coworkers?" Play these through 1000 bad scenarios and you get an idea of how I was feeling at the start of yesterday and especially today.
Obviously I survived because you are reading the words that I am writing. I don't know if this is the last of this or not. I am sure that the anxiety will creep back and trip me up again, but today I saw miracles in my life. I haven't been sleeping well because of my anxiety over starting this and have been continuing forward on willpower alone. I saw miracles today and yesterday with the concern for my family and their ability to say what I need to hear and keep me going. I saw miracles with the children at the school and the teachers I work with. I cannot explain it other than a miracle. Meanings were conveyed between the teachers and I despite the fact that we couldn't speak. People were kind and generous. Even though you could argue that this would have happened to anyone at any time, to me they were literal miracles that cut through the stress that I was feeling. They were exactly what I needed.
On to the kids. Children are miracles themselves. Period. The kids are quickly becoming my favorite part of Japan. They are so eager to talk to me and look at me and chatter away saying who knows what. Granted, I am a sight for most of them to see, big, bald and white. Kids are so raw with how they do things. At recess we played basketball (which I am awesome at because I can dunk) and freeze tag. 17 2nd graders and I running around after lunch playing freeze tag. When I got tired and sat in the "Free Zone," a little girl came up and sat next to me. After a few minutes, she grabbed my hand and took me back out to play. I am very grateful for these kids and their kindness to someone that they just met today, especially since I needed something like that.
Sappy post for a few stressful days. I will try to stick to pictures and stuff for a while now. :)
