Bunch of Crap

Well...let me catch you all up on what is going on. Nothing really super great is happening. A lot of this. 

 Rice field full of water. Also a lot of rain. Evidently June is the official month of rain. It rains pretty much everyday. 

 I found this at my elementary school. 2 guys came and set up this bizarre contraption. For an office that only has 4 office machines, this is a sizable addition. What would warrant such a large machine? Clearly it would have to be used a lot to justify the expense and space it occupies. Being the super sleuth that I am, I managed to check the manual and the name. Turns out that this machine is...a stapler and collator. Yeah. You put copies of each paper on each of those shelve and it uses black magic and fear to make them all come together in a stapled packet. Back when I was a kid, I was the stapling machine for my mom's classes. 

 We had a big sports day this last weekend with a bunch of the ALT's from around the prefecture. They randomly assigned us into teams. We were green team and got matching frog hats. They were hot, so I took it off...this proved to be a terrible error. 

 Too much attractiveness in this picture. 

 We had this really fun? thing where it was basically the beginning of the Hunger Games. There were some items in the middle of the field, and we all rushed to get them. After watching the first round of the things, we decided that the best plan was to play keep away with the biggest item (a truck tire). 

 Being a man of large stature, I figured that I would just throw myself on the tire and make them lift me with it. Good idea right? Then my team would come help me get the tire. My other strategy was to shout "I'M PEEING!" over and over again. I was thinking that it would make them think twice about grabbing the tire. It wasn't super effective, but It may have delayed them a second. 

The only problem was that none of my team decided to help me. Yeah. Here in this picture you can see Matt driving his head into my ribs to try to get me to release, but THESE COLORS DON"T RUN!!

Like a turtle, they figured out that they should flip me over to get gravity off my side. Unfortunate. Kwame is in that picture ripping my arm away. He then knelt on my arm to keep me from the tire. For the record, there are 4 men wrestling me away from the tire...there are also at least 2 members of my team not helping at all. I am only one man!

We had to do leap frog at one point. Here you can see the terrible error that I made in my choice of headgear and lack of sunscreen. My head is just about as red as my shirt. Fancy right? Awful. 

I got to explain to a bunch of Japanese teachers and students about how I got sunburned. It was weird. To cap off the sunburn that was annihilating my sense of peace, I went to the bank to transact some business. As I left the bank, something hit my head. I got in my car and saw what looked like a glob of mustard on my sunburned head. I wiped it off and after a nasal test, I determined that it was in fact bird poop. I hate birds. There are already some birds that wake me up at 4 am, I thought we reached a truce. I don't destroy their nest, and they don't poop on my head. I am going to immediately start eating more chicken.