Sushi is Shimple

The title is misspelled on purpose. Don't comment on that. It is literary alliteration or something. Read a book. As for me, I have read many books, filled with words and pictures. Sushi didn't require me to read a book though. As it turns out, I am somewhat of a natural when it comes to rolling sweet mini delicious bombs. I did have some help from half a dozen Japanese women, but really...it was all me? 

 Naturally, I started as all sushi chefs start. Watching YouTube videos. Turns out this is an ancient practice dating all the way back to the 1600s. 

 Clearly the videos were engaging and informative

 Do you see the level of attentiveness I have there? Like a bird of prey. A bald eagle.

 ...come to think of it, pictures of people watching things aren't that interesting. 

 Do you see that? My sleeves are rolled halfway up. That is how you know I mean business. You can see that some peoples hands and faces are blurred by their motion. Sushi making requires a steady hand and a calm spirit. I have both of those things. In this picture, I am spreading the rice perfectly evenly on the piece of seaweed...it is arguably the most crucial step in sushi making. 

 Notice the blurs? She doesn't appear to have the steady hand...

 That right there is not a comically large cigar, that is picture proof of the first sushi ever rolled by "The Great One" (I didn't choose the nickname, it was prophesied). There is talk of entering this picture into the Japanese Hall of Monuments (a place I just made up). 

 I was totally done first. We were making California Rolls. avocado, mayonnaise, imitation crab (nothing but the best...imitations), and egg omelet patty thing. 

Boom! Finished product. I must say that the really good ones are not my handiwork. The ones with flowers and shapes and grapes were definitely done by my version of sushi Mr. Miyagi. Amazing stuff really. Those two big and hastily put together plates are the handiwork of myself and Christina. 

I took this one with my camera. I know what you are thinking...photography skillz (yes, with a z) too? He has the triple threat! Sushi, photography and yodeling abilities. *

*Yodeling abilities are currently in a state listed as being untested, under no circumstances should you ask that I yodel for you.