Do you know the muffin man?

I know the muffin man. He doesn't live in Drury Lane either. He lives in Tokyo. Before you get your hopes up for a wacky story involving a kindly Japanese fellow who thinks of himself as the muffin man and my alleged encounters with him, let me say that that is not the case. You will have to read on (in news we call that a buried lead). 

Today I had an occasion to wake up (on a Saturday) at 5:15 in the morning, drive an hour to get in another car to drive for another 2.5 hours! Tokyo times! I went with some ward members to the temple in Tokyo, but I didn't go to the temple. I have a friend who has been having some health issues and is in a hospital in Tokyo...it was only 2 subway stops and a 20 minute walk from the temple as well. First though, here is a picture of Fuji-san early in the morning.  

 If you can't spot it, we aren't friends.

 So I left to go visit this friend. I decided to use Google Maps because Tokyo is a very confusing place. I was led (by the maps) to this crazy park pathway that ran in a nearly straight line to where I wanted to go. 

 I took some pictures so that you get an idea of what the Tokyo people live in is like. 

 Tokyo is interesting, the houses are so small and packed in that it feels like the shanty towns that I visited in Mexico, but they aren't. 

 Here is the Yellow Brick Road that leads to the hospital. It was quite nice. 

 Suddenly...Christians!

 And a playground!

 I felt like this part was like the Lord of the Rings for some reason. 

 I wanted to see a grizzled old (Japanese) prospector spitting out wacky tabaccy in front of this place. 

 A look up the street

 Here is what I love about Google Maps. Not only does it take you to the wrong place often, but it leads you to wonders such as this. Seriously Google Maps? How did it know that this was here? It wasn't wide enough for me to get through without turning sideways, but Google has it stored, and was able to use my GPS to tell me to walk through it. Granted, they then led me around the back of the hospital where there were ominous black cabs waiting...but that is neither here nor there. 

 The grand entrance to the hospital. I don't know why, but this place creeped me right out. Remind me to never get sick while I am here. 

 This is the waiting area...And this picture makes it look more light than it actually was. I thought I was in the wrong part when I walked in. 

 Classy eh? This table and chair arrangement is the entire waiting room. I didn't take any pictures during the actual visit, but she is next to the geriatric part of the hospital which was neat/sad. I have never spent time around really old people. To be perfectly honest, they freak me right out. I think this is related to the fact that my only memories of my grandmother were in a nursing home, and I only really remember the smell of the place and the buzzer that would sound when you walked in.

Anyway, this friend is very friendly, and got to know (because she speaks Japanese) a lady who is 91 years old. She was being discharged today, so she volunteered me to sing for her...yeah. They put 4 people in a room and the other old folks were just chillin/sleeping, and she was urging me to sing. We ended up settling on Disney. I don't like singing on command unless it is a performance, I get nervous and awkward in my insides. I could not think of a song to sing, and the only Disney-esque song that came to mind was "Under the Sea." So I sang that song. You bet I sang it in the Sebastian voice...don't you think I have self respect? I realized that that might be the most bizarre thing I have ever done. Singing to a random 91 year old Japanese woman in Tokyo as a Caribbean sea creature from a cartoon nearly as old as I am. 

 I got back with the members at the temple. Where else would you find a University of Utah sticker in Japan? 

 COSTCO! COSTCO COSTCO COSTCO COSTCO COSTCO COSTCO COSTCO!!!!!!!! We went to Costco. Amazing. You have no idea how lucky you are. I think I was more excited at this than I was about going to Tokyo Disneyland. They have escalators that you take your carts on!

 It's like magic!

 That is us going down with a load of carts! This place is more magical than Hogwarts and Rivendell combined (nerd alert). 

 Ah...home. 

 Looks the same right? Yes it does. 

 I have no caption for this.

 Same food! Check it out! Pizza and hot dogs and smoothies oh my!

 Fountain Coke...how I have missed ye. 

 Myself and the two Elders from the area got ourselves a full 45 cm pizza. 

 Unbridled joy at the cheesy, smooth, saucy, greasy joy that was awaiting me. I can't explain just how it feels to eat a pizza after having nothing but garbage pizza for 3+ months. At first it felt a lot like burning because I ate it too soon. My tongue definitely was damaged with the first bite of joy/agony, but it got better. We downed this puppy in about 10 minutes. All the Japanese people around us were most impressed. 

 Elder Malcom. Dapper yeah?

 I found mini Pan au Chocolat there as well! First, I didn't know this existed, second, they are so small! I didn't buy them, I got muffins instead (I mentioned muffins again...read on!).

 The Kirkland Nativity. 

 I thought the word shark cartilage was funny.

 They will deliver stuff to you, but it seems that they limit it to furniture. I wanted to ask how much it would be to deliver a block of cheese, jerky and muffins every two weeks, but we had no time. Because we ate the pizza, we were a little strapped on time to go shopping. I felt like I was alternately preparing for the zombie apocalypse and on a shopping spree with a time limit while I was there. I was aware that I couldn't bring everything, and I had to get the bare essentials. I felt very frantic, but joyful as I dashed up the aisles looking at familiar foods in 4 pound portions. Ah...I would live in Costco if I could. 

 Now we are going up the magical stairs!

 No hands. Amazing right? These things were at quite an angle...how did they do it? 

 Japanese ingenuity for you. They have a little stopper on the wheel that doesn't let it roll backwards if you are on an incline that matches the escalators. I was blown away that they would bother to engineer that. 

As you can see, I only got the essentials. Mind is the pepper grinder (because my father taught me the importance of good pepper), block of cheese, bags of jerky, 4 pound jar of peanut butter, 2.5 pounds of chocolate chips, 1 pound of cooked (yes cooked!) American Hormel Bacon, Pace Picante Salsa, and of course the muffins.

You may be wondering why I need 4 banana nut, 4 chocolate chocolate chip, and 4 blueberry muffins. The answer is, I don't need them. They are muffins, I am a man. I want muffins, I take the muffins. If you don't like it, get out of my way. For I am the muffin man.